Fear of Failure

i have always been afraid to fail. with a fancy name its: atychiphobia. the meaning is: a paralyzing anxiety stemming from the intense pressure to succeed, often causing individuals to avoid challenges or self-sabotage. It is characterized by deep insecurity, perfectionism, procrastination, and physical symptoms like rapid heart rate or panic. because i am so scared to fail i stopped doing everything i loved especially in art. i wanted to change that so i started doing that. (what was more difficult than you think).

1. paper ( sketch book)
2. something you can draw with it can literally be anything: pencil, pen, paint and much more!

for the collages:

1. scissors
2. glue stick
3. paper with images like magazines
4. paper

in my head everything needed to be perfect but the beautiful thing about art what i realised is that it doesn't have to be perfect! so i started drawing without a thought ( as much as i could). at first i hated it honestly and i wanted to throw my drawings away, but i convinced myself it was part of the process.

because i hated doing it at first i told myself i needed to do at least 2 drawings a week. i really like rules and i almost never break them so i knew if i did this it would make it more difficult to stop. at week three i started seeing chances: i became happy to draw. this made me so excited because art means so much to me but because of the fear of failure i stopped doing it.

i know that maybe for some of you my art is really weird, but after i became more comfortable with my art i started also incorporating my feeling into my art.

i never made collages but i always wanted to try it so it thought this would be the perfect time!

i am gonna be honest at first i really hated it, everything in my head screamed at me to stop, that my art was worthless. and i wanted to say that it was easy pushing through and drawing every week but it really wasn't, but i am so happy i did! i also started seeing a difference at school, i was less stressed especially at test. me and also people around me started to notice that i became more relaxed. i really wanted to share a sort of quote that helped me it is from the movie Eat,pray,love:

"you have to learn to select your thoughts the same way that you select your clothes everyday. now that is a power that you can cultivate, and you want to come here and control your life so bad work on the mind and that is the only thing you should be trying to control, because if you can't master your thoughts you're in trouble forever"

"i am trying"

"that is the damn problem, stop trying. surrender. go out into the garden and just sit there and still your mind and you watch what happens. why don't you just let it be?