How to Make the Pie of Sauron

This year I celebrated Gondorian New Year's Day by baking up a rather ominous, but altogether delicious, confection! Those of you who are interested in making your own will find the steps listed below.

1. 1 Double-crust pie dough, divided into two equal portions (that is, enough dough for the bottom and top of 1 nine-inch pie)
2. Red filling of your choice, enough to fill a nine-inch pie- I used cherries in this particular pie
3. Orange and Red Food Colouring
4. 1 Egg
5. Basic Baking Supplies

Note: If at any time your pie dough begins to get too soft and sticky, you may need to pop it in the freezer for a few minutes before it is stable enough to continue.

Working with one portion of your pie dough, roll your crust out and place it in the pie dish.

Don't worry about trimming the excess right now, we'll get to that later.

If you've just made your filling, make sure to let it cool before pouring it in the crust.

Roll out the other portion of dough until it is large enough to cover the surface of the pie entirely.

Start by tracing (NOT CUTTING) one horizantal line and one vertical line across the dough so that they intersect in the middle; this will be a set of guidelines.

As shown in the pictures, use the guidelines in the very middle to cut out a sliver, like a rounded diamond shape.

Carefully put the top crust in place with the pupil centered.

Cutting through the layers of both the top and bottom crusts, trim the excess dough.

Roll your scraps into two balls, then knead the food colouring into the dough, until the colour is evenly distributed through the entire lump. Make one ball of red, and one ball of orange.

Note: Since the food colouring is liquid, you may need to offset it by adding a little more flour to your dough if it starts to get too sticky.

Lightly beat one egg, and brush a coat of egg over the surface of your pie dough.

Pinch bits of orange dough off of the lump and twist and pull it into a flame-like shape. Continue until you have outlined the perimeter of the pie with orange flames.

Pinch even smaller bits of red dough from the lump and repeat around the perimeter of the pupil.

Note: You will likely have leftover orange and red dough.

Bake as directed by your recipe, or at 375-400 degrees F, until golden brown.

And, behold! You have completed the great Pie of Sauron.

Celebrate Gondorian New Year's Day, impress your friends the next time you're in charge of dessert, or maybe just keep it all to yourself... afterall, why not, why shouldn't you eat it?